Thoughts Along the Way
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ Mark 12:20
I was at McDonalds the other day (yes, I am sane and healthy) having a quick lunch and watching a young couple at a nearby table. They had a table in a relatively quiet corner but that was the extent of any romantic interlude. He was on his cell phone and she sat quietly eating her fries and glaring at him. He ignored her almost completely for 15-20 minutes. Finally he hung up the phone said something to the effect of let’s go and they left. He seemed quite pleased with his lunch with his girlfriend. She seemed very disappointed – she may not be his girlfriend much longer. My first thought in observing this was to bemoan the invention of cell phones. How easy they make life to be self-absorbed and rude. Then I thought of all the ways that I am self-absorbed and rude. The cell phone did not make this young man self-centered. It was merely the way he was expressing it at that particular moment. People are rude to each other. They can be together while still being alone.
It didn’t take very long before God began to not only show me how I am self-absorbed, desire to be the center of attention, and ignore the needs of others, but how I treat Him the same way. I can go to church, have devotions, or even pray while being alone with Him. I spend the time with Him just as this young man spent time with his girlfriend but was there any quality? Did the young man communicate? (Besides with the person on the phone.) I can spend time with God and not really come into His presence. My prayers and Bible reading can be all about me. I may be trying to impress God with my devotion. (He’s not impressed.) I may be trying to quiet a guilty conscience. (It doesn’t work.) I may even be reading Scripture while another part of my brain tries to figure out what to make for supper.
As I condemned this young man, I also condemned myself. Watching the disappointment on the face of the young lady, I began to see the disappointment on the face of God. He wants to meet with me not just to be at the same place at the same time but to really connect with me, to be of one mind and heart. He loves me and wants to share that love with me. He finds pleasure in my company though I can’t always see anything pleasurable in me.
As my heart broke from the pain that my self-centeredness causes Him, I once again realized how great my need for Jesus forgiveness and for a change of my heart condition. I needed the Holy Spirit to not just show me my behavior (for the young man to hang up the cell phone) but I needed Him to do a great work of cleansing my inmost being (to care about the other person as much or more than he cares about himself). I need Jesus not simply to forgive me but to create Himself in me.
Prayer: Father, how my heart longs to be clean and pure. I want to know the love You have for me and be changed by that love. Create in me the desire to be with You and know You – not just know about You. When people see me, may they see the relationship we have rather than just that we claim to be family or friends.