When smiles collide
When smiles collide with tears, I remember that I am not alone.
When joys and sorrows come one upon another, I remember that God loves me.
When highs and lows seem oddly alike, I remember that Jesus died for me.
When sunshine and shadow are confused, I look to God and remember that
my life is but one piece of God’s great universal plan
and that is good.
The past 12 months have brought an incredible range of emotions. Our ministry has been some of the most encouraging of our 25 years in Japan but alongside it has been struggles and change. Our first grandchild was born – a beautiful little girl – who brings such great joy to our hearts but living half a world away is hard. John’s Mom is doing well but age continues to creep up. Add to all of this the events of the last 3 weeks.
Construction to replace windows and soundproof several rooms in our house began March 1. Amidst preparation for construction to begin, we had several groups of company coming from areas of Japan as well as the States. I remember wondering what God had in mind when He scheduled the construction and company at the same time but all worked out well. Several people will have memories of sleeping in rooms with no doors or being asked to help move furniture into the middle of the room before they left.
Just as the first phase of construction ended, the earthquake hit. We live 150 miles from the epicenter but even so we had a terrifying shake. Aftershocks continued but even when we weren’t experiences aftershocks we felt emotional shocks. If the wind blew and the windows rattled, I would wonder if it was another earthquake. Just as Tokyo began to seem like things would return to normal, the nuclear reactors began to cause concerns and power shortages. The power shortages led to voluntary reductions, cold rooms, and planned rolling blackouts. The joy was talking to neighbors and hearing that not only were they OK but their family and friends were also OK. As the reactors continued to have problems, the fear of meltdown and radiation became a part of every day. People avoided going out unless absolutely necessary, instead we all sat in cold rooms wondering when the next quake would occur. Everyday decisions became exhausting and sleep was not always very sound. I am surprised that even when there is warmth, I am still cold and yet I hate to complain because I know there are thousands who are suffering so much more with greater cold, fears, and lack of sleep.
With all of this as a back drop I tearfully left Tokyo to go to a school board meeting in Kansai (near Nara/Kyoto area).Instead of me returning to Tokyo John joined me in Nara where there are no aftershocks, no shortages, and no fear of radiation but we are eager to return home even if it means returning to the stress of life with aftershocks, shortages, blackouts, and fear. I know that God is with me in fear and in relief. His peace can comfort me when the unknown surrounds me and when feelings of cowardice and failure assault me.
I pray that no matter what your circumstances you will look to your heavenly Father for peace, patience, wisdom, and compassion for others.